I want to say Goodbye Big Brother! R.I.P.
Last night I had the most amazing that my wife enjoying our anniversary on the beach. As you can see for some of my pictures from last night I had a blast. While I was sitting on the beach shooting I got to talk to an old friend whom I have know since I was 13 years old.
I know I am really aging myself now because i have known her well since then. We got talking about the old times, we got talking about our families and families to be, and it was a beautiful time to sit and chitchat via facebook. We stay in touch and one thing lead to another we got talking about my family. If you are new in my life via this blog welcome, and let me get you up to speed. When I was the age of 21 I was taking care of my father whom was much older than me, he was 56 when I was born and well he really did take great care of me and my family. I called him Pop! He was an amazing man to me and many people respected him in our community. He was a kind and gentle soul as a Doctor. He had a great bed side manner and always tickled me to sleep even if I did take a sneak peek to watch Benny Hill on my television. I miss him dearly!
The night he passed away Jodeyne and I were with many friends in Canada at my family home, and to cut to the chase we were all down stairs in the basement playing a game and this overwhelming feeling came over me and my friends at the time were witness to me jumping up leaping over the table and running up the stairs, and before my mother could even say Sean help I was there at my fathers bed side. There were many occurrences during the day and my Pop never asked for anything but happiness, a cigarette and smiles but on that very day I felt him inside of me. Our connection was strong spiritually. I learn’t so much from him, and the last word I ever said to him was I love ya Pop. I can’t really explain the feeling that I had in my body and I am very sensitive in the first place, but it was this surge of energy like I had never felt before, unbelievable really.
As I was saying when I was 21 I took care of him at home along with my mother and one of my 3 brothers for almost 4 years. It is the time in my life that hurt and I learnt so much with so much change. It really did humble me when I was carrying my father to bathroom, to the shower, to the the kitchen, or to bed. He went from a man of my stature to 135 pounds when he passed. I know this is a bit somber but if I learned one thing and one thing only give of yourself and you will be blessed in more ways than you could imagine. His spirit carries on inside of his boys and in our children too.
Moving on from this because I honestly could go on forever about how much I love him, I was talking to an old friend of mine last night while I was on the beach. Facebook does have its advantages. Yesterday it was my 23 skating and 13 wedding anniversary with Jodeyne and we spent the day going through stuff in my garage and also in the house. I found so much to share with everyone from pictures, newspaper clippings, to awards. You name it we have been going through 23 years of our history to make room for our little one coming soon. Well as I was talking to my friend on facebook chat we were talking about families and our loved ones our past friendship and so forth and the topic of how I have not seen my brother for almost 17 years came up. It is a long story and I do not wish to talk about it in detail but we all went our separate ways when Pop died that Dec 28th evening. A lot of tragic things happened in our family after that last wonderful Christmas together. In the end it was all about what was owed and what was taken and so on and so on. I said to my friend I want to tell my brother I forgive him for what he did and had happened in the past, and say it is all good it was just stuff. I learned well while working on cruise ships and traveling the world the way Jodeyne and I do around the world it is not what we have physically that matters as long as we have the necessities in life taken care of first. Food, water, shelter, cloths and well you get the picture. Everything else is a bonus! Remember that Peeps!
Well moving on last week I got a call from a friend of my brothers whom I was very close to as a young boy. Walter called to tell me that my brother has stage 3 cancer and it had moved to his liver. I was sad, disheartened to learn the news. I was taking care of my niece and nephew last week when I learnt the news but I decided that I would come home to see him one way or another. Last night I came home from the beach with my lovely wife Jodeyne who has been through thick and thin of my family for 23 years and when I got home I had this overwhelming feeling again of energy. It was not till about 4:30 am that my body settled down and wanted to rest. I am not sure why but it felt like that special feeling that I had the night Pop passed. I said to my friend I want to Forgive him and maybe just maybe he heard me from 1500 miles away. If you knew my big brother he was a pretty amazing guy like my Pop in so many ways, but also he was a stubborn man with the pride of an ass sometimes. I called him the Iceman (as many people did) like the guy from the movie Top Gun. When he did things that he passionately wanted done it was calculated, cold, and hard. It must be a family trait! Not everyone agreed but he got the job done well more the bigger picture was seen by him many times.
I looked up to him so much, he took care of me from the day I was born, supported me with my skating even though I took a ribbing from it being a girls sport, taught me tackle football (kicked his ass a few times in the back yard and on the field), taught me how to love and train my animals, got me my first jobs with Fabri-Zone, IBM, TD, and the Ontario Government, taught me how to live my life and go for what I wanted, taught me the importance of business and going out making it real, taught me how to talk to the people with out being scared, taught me how to work hard play harder, taught me how to stop fights, taught me to go for the jugular and be strong minded, took me across Canada in car and on plane many times, skied with me fast, taught me to carve, cheered for me on from the sidelines and was there when my other family members could not be there or other bros did not care, took me to bars to be his d.d. when he was in need, introduced me to some pretty cool people, taught me the importance of sport in our life, taught me the importance of loving kids when they are young and growing, taught me what it was to be a brother. Chuck was if any the one of the three siblings I call my brother. Even though we were so distant in the end, I know we were always close from the heart the day I was born. If he gets to see my Pop, and Gloria, Grandma, and Uncle Syd and many more we know in Heaven (fingers crossed) and so on maybe they will all let him know I wrote that I am going to miss my Big Brother Chuck. You meant the world to me even though you were a Bonehead. May you Rest in Peace Brother!
Love your Little Brother!
p.s. No matter what if you have a chance never look back at the past and have regret, we all live with our differences and also our ideals. It is what it is, but if you have a chance to have a loving family and friends forever tell them how much you mean to them. We come into this world with nothing but the life our makers gave us, and we leave with nothing but a legacy behind us shaping the path and the ways for others from the way we interact and the way we live our lives. Make it worth every nanosecond that we are hear. We maybe not be able to change the past but we can shape the future in a positive light. Remember “THE PAST DOES NOT EQUAL THE FUTURE”. May Peace and happiness find you all!